Speaking and Listening Skills - Paper Example

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Middlebury College
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Old scholars say that the tongue is the most powerful organ in a human body. The tongue can say sweet words that are music to the ears and make someones day. The same tongue can say mean words that break the hearts of the same people, and it all depends on the speaker. We should all aim to improve on our language and how we talk to others. Although many people do not realize it, a happy soul, a positive mind with beautiful words goes a long way. Being a positive speaker and seeing the best in others leads to luck and sets the foundation for success. A wise saying goes that whereas it is nice to be important, it is important to be nice. Being kind and tasting our words before we can say them is a sure way to maintain peaceful correlations with those around us. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle that you know nothing about, and that is why it is always good to be nice even to strangers. In doing so, you create a good environment for yourself and others.

Words can hardly be taken back and whatever you say is always remembered. Therefore, it is advisable not to speak under the influence of emotion but rather to base your words on a clear judgment. We can be sorry and apologize for the damages caused by words hurled at another person when angry, but they will hardly forget. People may forget what you said to them, they may even forget what you did to them, but they will surely never forget how you made them feel. Thus, we should purpose to comfort and make people happy with our words as opposed to hurting them.

Ten ways have been found to improve our communication and improve our relationships with others.

Talking too much

A wise saying goes that speech is silver and silence is golden. We must always watch how much we speak and compare it to how much we listen. In many cases, the intelligent speak less and listen more because in listening knowledge is gained. Furthermore, the Almighty God who is humans ultimate designer gave us two ears and one mouth so that we can speak less and listen more. We should practice speaking only when it is necessary or when we are prompted to. Otherwise, you can be perceived dumb for not speaking, but silence will never get you into trouble.

Thinking Before Speaking

Speaking should not come as an automatic response to breaking the ice. One should first listen and understand what the other person is saying before they can speak. The problem is that most people listen to respond instead of listening to understand. Consequentially, they end up not getting the message clearly and responding in the wrong manner. One golden rule is avoiding promising when jovial and cursing when angry.

Be articulate with your words

Dont just talk for the sake of talking. Be clear, precise, and coherent with your words. Many people get in trouble for not saying what they mean and not meaning what they say. For your idea to be understood by the other people, you should present it in a manner that inspires clarity of mind and purpose. Failure to do so many leads to vague message and misunderstandings.

Being Too Direct

Whereas it is important to be articulate, sometimes call for a little discretion. Not everyone perceives the direct approach positively. Some will think that you are telling them off and end up being embarrassed. Being direct is sometimes affiliated with being cold and disrespectful. We should always be careful not to say hurtful things to our peers and community members.

Being Conclusive

In the presentation of an idea or an expression of thought, it is nice to leave room for the other parties to make their inferences. Being conclusive in speech is more like forcing an idea on someone and is considered rude and insensitive.

Keep Others Secrets

If someone trusts you with a secret, they believe in you to keep it. People have secrets that they do not want to be known to others for various reasons. Such secrets are important to them and sharing such with you should be considered a privilege. Being confidential in the personal lives and experiences of others is crucial and is an indication of your trustworthiness.

Be Polite

It costs you nothing to be a polite person, but it can cost you your friends, family, and even workmates if you are impolite. Polite words are music to the ears and have the capability of brightening anyones day. Dont be talking so impolitely as it is bound to hurt someone.

Consider Others

Being arrogant in your speech is a major fail. You should aim to put other peoples needs before yours and be selfless in your communication. Too much self eventually leads to self-destruction and should be avoided at all costs.

Be Gentle in Your Criticism

Avoid at all times to criticize people. Different people have different reasons for dong different things. Before you can criticize someone, make sure you know why they act the way they do and the motive behind. If you must criticize, do it in a gentle and caring manner.

Dont Speak when Angry

Words said when angry could be arrogant and outrightly hurtful. It is always best to remain silent in such trying times.

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