Dear (NAME) and (NAME);
Congratulations are in order for the new step you have taken in life. Effective and efficient communication within the marriage fraternity gives rise to successful marriages regardless of other factors. Many marriages fail due to the lack of communication between spouses. For instance, the husband needs to understand why the wife does things in a certain manner or why she needs to attend a function and come home late. When communication is adequate in a marriage there are few instances when the couple is in disagreement. However, today I will be advising the married individuals particularly a newly engaged couple on the importance of interpersonal communication. Interpersonal communication is the interaction between individuals (Roloff, 2015). Having come from different backgrounds such as cultures, families, regions, countries, and much more makes people different in a unique way.
Opinions, mindsets, and needs tend to differ among two or more people in communication. Moreover, the differences give rise to disruptive relationships among married or engaged couples. The purpose of this letter is to advise you on how to use your interpersonal communication skills to handle conflicts whenever they arise without destroying the love you have for each other. The letter will further guide you, the newly engaged couple, on the selection of styles that you can use to manage and express the interpersonal conflicts thus assisting in the improvement and maintenance of quality communication in your relationship.
The letter will cover several areas revolving around interpersonal communication. It will explain the barriers to and the principles of effective interpersonal communication. It will analyze the role communication plays in the development and maintenance of an individuals image, concept, and esteem. The letter will give an advice on the appropriate levels of emotional intelligence and self-disclosure when in a relationship. It will describe the strategies that one can use to ensure effective communication is among the pillars of a relationship. Lastly, in the letter, there will be an analysis on the impact of culture and gender on interpersonal communications. Each of the mentioned areas will be discussed in their respective sections in the letter. Good and successful relationships require good and effective interpersonal communications.
Principles and Barriers
Principles of effective interpersonal communication try to ensure that relationships are full of understandings and a newly engaged couple learns to deal with each other's flaws. However, it is paramount to identify the common ways in which one interacts with another that prove to be effective compared to other ways. Some of the general principles a newly engaged couple, such as the two of you, should abide by include treating each other with respect, not interrupting the other, giving the right to pass, giving the other some space to make his or her decisions, and speaking from a personal stand. Respecting each other ensures that couples value each other's company and opinions (Hung & Lin, 2013). A relationship is not a prison, and being in one does not change an individual to something else. Moreover, relationships are a test of how well people can cope together and make sacrifices for their spouses.
Barriers to effective interpersonal communication hinder one from realizing his or her full potential. When barriers are numerous, there is a likelihood of the relationship failing to prosper and that can lead to emotional traumas. Some of the key barriers to effective interpersonal communication constitute low self-esteem, negative emotions, and lack of commitment. Low self-esteem is disastrous in a relationship; it takes a huge toll on interpersonal communication. As mentioned earlier, relationships are not prisons, one needs to express him or herself to the significant other to create an adequate atmosphere. For instance, most people in relationships fail to understand that when they express their feelings or opinions to their spouses without having fear there is a likelihood that their spouses will open up and discuss the matter in detail hence creating a conducive environment.
On the other hand, negative emotions ought to be released to prevent a failed relationship. When entering into a new relationship, couples need to let go of their past as that could have a negative impact on the success of their newly found love. The lack of commitment by newly engaged couples may make them feel like the relationship is wrong and that hinders their growth. Couples need to understand and know what they want from a relationship; setting goals ensures a relationship thrives to maturity. A newly engaged couple needs to identify the barriers to and principles of effective interpersonal communication to ensure success in their relationship. Relationships are different, hence one does not need to compare his or her relationship with that of another couple.
Role of Communication
Communication plays a major role in the development and maintenance of an individuals image, concept, and esteem. Communication is the basis of all interpersonal relationships. Couples need to communicate with each other on a regular basis to ensure unity and understanding exist between them. Moreover, according to Bong (2013), effective communication is the key to long-lasting and healthy relationships. A newly engaged couple should ensure communication between them is paramount regardless of the situation as it offers a quick and easier way to the solution of problems. Couples that communicate regularly have a tendency of having strong bonds and fewer misunderstandings. When communicating with the other party it is advisable to use a good tone and pitch, be polite, and be understanding. Newly engaged couples should ensure they have healthy interactions as they are essential in healthy relationships. One needs to understand that communication can be both verbal or non-verbal.
Verbal communication encompasses speaking and listening while non-verbal communications encompass body movements, use of signs, and facial expressions. An individual's tone or pitch can determine how effective communication will be; for instance, shouting at your spouse during a fight can make things worse. One needs to cool down before uttering any word to ensure words spoken do not burn existing bridges. Additionally, once words are spoken they cannot be taken back; the damage is done. Being a patient listener gives an individual's partner the chance to express him or herself effectively thus explaining why he or she didi one two three things. Above all, through communication, one can seek for forgiveness when a wrong deed is done. At times one does not have to be always right and mighty; lowering the pride helps in times of communication.
Self-Disclosure and Emotional Intelligence
The first step to determining the appropriate levels of emotional intelligence and self-disclosure is to understand what each term means. Self-disclosure does not necessarily mean that one should provide information to the other person, it means that one should be able to share information with others that they are yet to discover or know. The process involves taking a risk and making one vulnerable by sharing some information with another. As a newly engaged couple, I would advise you to make use of the Johari Window whereby you will both know each other better. For instance, one of you may think he or she is not a good visionary but the other may see him or her as a great visionary. Knowing each other better assists in the growth of the relationship. There is nothing better than having a partner who understands you in your strongest and weakest moments. By understanding each other, one gives the spouse or partner the ability to assist when words are not enough.
Moreover, self-disclosure results to mutual disclosure; the element that builds trust in a relationship. However, it is ideal to weigh how much is enough in a relationship. Too much self-disclosure can be distractive to a relationship and that is where emotional intelligence comes into play. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage one's feelings and those of others. There are some things that a person can tell the spouse and end up ruining the entire relationship. It is paramount for a couple to understand some things and accept them as they are; no one is perfect. Being in a relationship is great, forgetting the past relationships is key in building the current relationship. For instance, you should not compare your significant other's way of doing things with how your ex-spouse did things. Doing that will only bring harm to the relationship despite being a form of self-disclosure. Emotional intelligence should guide you as you self-disclose yourselves to each other.
Communication Techniques and Strategies
A strong relationship is built around effective communication. Supposing you found out something your spouse has posted on social media or has been tagged in and it irritates you deeply, how will you approach him and discuss the issue? That is just one of the issues that arise when one is in a relationship. Moreover, jealousy in a relationship requires both parties to sit and communicate effectively to determine the root cause of the problem and the best solutions available. Relationships require transparency; as a newly engaged couple, I would advise you not to keep secrets from each other. Be open to each other and in no time, you will start reaping the fruits of the little sacrifice. One way to ensure effective communication in a relationship is setting some few minutes or hours per day to engage in quality conversations. For instance, as a couple, you can decide to set aside 30 minutes per day for quality conversation with each other.
The term 'quality' is vital in the conversation you will have; during the stipulated time, you should both try to learn and understand your goals, thoughts, opinions, suggestions, and aspirations. Additionally, the manner of communication determines if the result will be positive or negative. Shouting at your partner when having a conflict does more harm to the relationship than when one uses a calm and composed tone. As a couple, you should work on the best strategies that suit you and enhance your communication. For instance, I have been married to my other half for over a decade now, whenever we need to discuss some delicate issues that can spark a conflict we always do that as we enjoy some outdoor fun. We discuss our issues out there and when we come back to the house everything is back to normal; we have solved our issues.
Gender and Culture
Different cultures and genders call for different ways to resolve conflicts in a relationship. As a newly engaged couple, I would advise you to treat each other equally and avoid the societal conception that man is mightier than a woman. A relationship exists when both man and woman or woman and woman, or man and man come together as one. To ensure there is a smooth transition into the new way of life, it is paramount to take the steps slowly and keenly. Rushing things only makes the preconditioned conditions to take effect. In the African culture, the man is not supposed to go the kitchen and prepare food. The African culture forbids men from going to the kitchen claiming it is a woman's role to do house chores. Supposing the woman falls sick and is bedridden, does it mean no food will be cooked in the house? Does it mean no house chores will be accomplished? Those are some of the questions a couple should sit and discuss.
When two people come together, they do so out of the love they have for each other. Treating your partner right makes him or her have the urge to reciprocate the same towards you....
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